Next on the ladder

From when he exited the car, to saying goodby to Sāng, to unlocking his apartment, it all happened in a haze. All Míngzé felt was relief when he finally closed the door behind him. His cane ended up somewhere on the couch and his coat on a random chair. Dai ran straight to the couch where he lay down immediately.

Normally Míngzé had a whole routine before going to bed, but that day he decided to skip it. Removing his shoes, socks and pants were enough of a hassle. His shoulder slightly ached, so he did not even try to undo his shirt. There was only one thing he needed and that was his bed. Remaining in bed for the remainder of the week sounded like the best idea he ever had.

Without any clear thought Míngzé went to his bedroom, easily navigating the darkness. Wěi was probably somewhere asleep there already. First he sat down on the edge, feeling around for his blanket. It did not even occur to him that it was strange that he could not immediately find it. But there it was. He pulled his first leg in bed and under the blanket, only for his foot to touch something. For a split second he was hit with confusion, only to quickly come to the realization of what happened.

“Fuck, sorry I—”

Míngzé nearly yelled while at the same time nearly jumping out of his bed. It stood rather close to the wall, so it did not come as a surprise when his back hit the hard surface. “I forgot you were here,” he sighed deeply. With everything that happened that night, he completely forgot about his recent roommate and that he now slept on the couch.

Driven by his desire to sleep, he had forgotten about the guest that lived in his house. Each time, something happened between them that made it awkward. First it was the girl being naked while they were together, and now he almost joined her in bed. Míngzé was glad for the support of the wall behind him. As if tonight hadn’t been bad enough yet.

“No, it’s alright, you take the bed.” There was no hiding how tired he was, it also reflected in his tone of voice. Slowly he pushed himself off the wall, already making his way toward his bedroom door. “Too much happened for one night.” Which was not really an explanation. Míngzé had his hand on the doorknob, ready to leave the room but instead he stood there. “People nearly died tonight, and I can’t shake the feeling that, in a way, it was my fault.” He remembered Sāng’s words and he knew the other had been right. It bothered him nonetheless.

Earlier that night, before he’d found Djodie on the ice, he knew something was about to happen. Something bad. At the time Míngzé didn’t know what it meant, but now it all made sense. This could’ve ended so much worse.

The couch would do. It was not the ideal sleeping place and his back often ached when he woke up in the morning, but he couldn’t care less. Any place was a good place to sleep. The ground would also suffice if needed. Míngzé didn’t think anything could keep him awake now once he closed his eyes.

Míngzé stepped out of the room, wanting to close its door behind him, but something held him back. He turned his head a bit to look over his shoulder. “Alright,” he simply sighed. Arguing was too much effort, just like it was to pull his arm loose. It was not like she was giving him another choice anyway.

Without fighting it Míngzé followed her to the bed, only to instantly lay down. It was much more comfortable than the old couch in the living room and he only realized how cold he was when the blankets were over him. “If you don’t care, you can stay,” he said, followed by a satisfied sigh. Míngzé did not care if she remained in the bed next to him, or if she preferred to take the couch this time. Sleeping next to each other would be the least awkward thing that happened between them anyway.

When she came here once again, telling him she had no place to go, he’d given her his bed. It was only fair after she revealed that she had been sleeping outside this whole time. She would not stay here forever, so until then she could use the bed. Even if that meant she had to sleep next to him now.

What he did not expect her to do, was tuck him in, but he let her. Otherwise it meant he would need to move again and that was something he desperately didn’t want to do. This was fine, for once.

Míngzé was on his side, his back turned towards her. A sigh escaped when she asked him if he wanted to talk. Part of him wanted to tell her about what had happened, but at the same time he was too tired. He pulled the blanket a bit further over himself. “I know someone who might be better suited to help you,” Míngzé started instead. All he had to offer, he’d already given her. There was nothing else he could do. He felt a sting in his chest but tried to ignore it. “She’s family, you can trust her. I’ll text her tomorrow.” He was pretty sure Xīyuàn wanted to help with this unusual case. It was right up her alley.

There was no saying if Xīyuàn would even like the idea of helping Lucina, but that was a problem for later. Míngzé assumed it was not a problem, with her drive to unravel each mystery and puzzle that was thrown her way. Neither did he know if Lucina liked the idea. She trusted him, but only because they already knew each other a little bit and because she had no other options.

A worried frown was on his face as the thoughts crossed his mind. “No need to repay me for anything,” he said, his words sluggish. While she said he had saved her, helped her, he couldn’t help but think he could’ve done more. Should’ve done more. Those thoughts he kept to himself.

Míngzé hummed softly when Lucina agreed upon his plan. “I will— text—” Before Míngzé was even able to form a complete sentence, his consciousness drifted off as he fell into a deep, yet restless sleep. His dreams were plagued by the events of that night and so much more. In the end, it would feel like he hadn’t slept at all.

His sleep had been restless, plagued by nightmares and memories alike. When Míngzé woke up the next morning, it felt like he was hit by a brick. With some effort he managed to open his eyes. There was no light shining through the curtains, which told him it was very early in the morning. Míngzé sighed deeply. Things that felt like they came straight out of a nightmare, were anything but that. It was all coming back to him.

Míngzé pulled on the blanket, pulling it over his head as some kind of protective barrier. It was then that he felt it. Something soft toppled over and landed on top of him. It was not heavy enough to be one of his pokémon. His mind was still foggy as he tried to make sense of it. He pulled the blanket back again, but was then hit by an godawfull smell.

“What the fuck?” Míngzé wore a mask of utter disgust and he held a hand against his nose. How had this gone unnoticed before? He reached out for whatever that was, but as his hand made contact, he immediately pulled away. Automatically he pushed himself up a bit and moved away from it. His hand he cradled against his chest. It was very faint, but it had been there. For a moment he knew exactly where that thing was on the bed, because he could feel its presence. Only a second or maybe two passed and it was gone again.

Whatever he sensed in that moment, was something intangible now. As if it had never even been there. Míngzé wanted to brush it off as nothing. Something his mind made up because he was still half asleep. The smell however, was very much real.

For only a moment he could’ve sworn he’d felt something the moment he touched the teddy bear. Not the soft touch of it, but something different, something he had trouble describing. Definitely nothing tangible. This was far from the first something like this has happened, but it caught him by surprise each time. Only now it felt so much fainter than those other times and now he could no longer feel anything at all. Míngzé wanted to blame his imagination, the exhaustion still coursing through his body, but he knew better than that.

The second surprise was Lucina’s voice coming from the other side of the bed. His mind was racing to catch up and Míngzé wanted to hide his face in his pillow when he remembered. He really shouldn’t make decisions when he is tired.

“I—” he started, not knowing where he was going with this. A troubled expression crossed his face as he looked in her direction. This was one of those moments where Míngzé did not know if it was wise to tell her about it. Then again, her whole existence was weird in and of itself. “Where did you get it?” He thought she had nothing at all, but that was not true apparently.

Slowly he shook his head when she asked him if she had to prepare breakfast. “No need, unless you are hungry.” Because he wasn’t at all.

Lucina explained to him where she had found the plushie and a frown immediately appeared on his face. Normal people would not take something they found on the streets with them, but he assumed it was different for her. If you had nothing, it was probably nice to have something. Even if it was a dirty plushie, and yet— “It’s generally not a smart idea to take things you find on the streets with you. They are dirty and you have no idea what has been done to it.” His voice was a bit horse and there was no hiding the exhaustion. Usually things were thrown out for a reason.

She insisted on him eating something, but Míngzé was quick to shake his head. He lay one arm over his eyes to shield them for the little bit of light inside the room. While moving his arm, he noticed how his shoulder was slightly stiff from the haunter last night, but nothing severe. “Maybe later.” Not that he was in any position to stay in his bed anyway, even if he wanted to. Last night he’d told Lucina that he would text Xīyuàn, and he was going to follow through on that plan. Which meant getting out of bed.

“Fine, a coffee wouldn’t hurt,” Míngzé sighed. It might actually help him get through this day. Now he needed to get himself out of bed, which meant he had to move.

A while back Míngzé had made a choice that had changed his life. So far it did not seem like he was able to turn back around and live the life he had before. Too much had changed. He still disliked every part of it, and hated these things he felt occasionally. Ignoring them was the easy choice, but maybe not the smart one. Each time they’d meant something. Without it, he’d never know about Sāng and his curse. No matter how much Míngzé disliked it, he’d learned to listen to it.

“If I were you, I would throw it out,” Míngzé said rather bluntly. There was something with that plushie and Míngzé had no idea what. Perhaps it had still been his imagination, as it had only been there briefly, but he did not want to take risks. “And if you don’t, yes, please, it stinks.” He could have worded it better, but he was too tired to care.

Lucina disappeared out of the bedroom, giving him a moment of peace. “Fuck,” he softly muttered to himself. Why had he allowed this? He should’ve taken the couch, yet here he was. Pushing the thought aside, Míngzé lifted himself off the bed, got dressed in comfortable clothes and left the bedroom. He headed straight for the couch, sinking down with a deep sigh. He felt terrible in every possible way.

The remote of his tv quickly found its way to his hands. This was one of those days he simply wanted to sit here and do nothing. All he had to do was text Xīyuàn, but that was it. Until then he would sit here and do nothing.

Míngzé did not even look up when Lucina came back, announcing she had his coffee. Since it was day, he could vaguely see her figure. WIth one hand he reached out until he could feel hand and then traced it to her hand. With his other hand he then reached for the cup. “Thanks,” he muttered before leaning further in his seat.

“Let’s just watch some tv.” It was not like he hadn’t already decided upon doing so. With a few voice commands he made sure the dvd player did its job and not long after he could hear Doctor House his voice. This is all he wanted to do. SIt here and listen to fake characters who had it worse than him.