Don't forget to mess around

It was getting worse and Míngzé wanted to sink through the floor and disappear. He let out a soft, annoyed groan and using his shoulder he softly bumped into the other. “You do realize I have a name, right?” It had taken them a while, but eventually they learned each other’s names. Unless, Sāng had forgotten about his.

Where before it was awkward, this was just embarrassing. Míngzé tried and he really had the feeling that he placed his feet right, but he was wrong. Luckily for him, Sāng reacted quickly and the floor stayed far away. Of course the other could not keep it at that and had to make a comment which made Míngzé huff in response. It was a good thing that they walked in the cover of night, otherwise it might’ve been obvious that his face was a little less pale and that it had more color. It almost looked healthy. “Don’t get your hopes up too high,” he countered as he found his footing again.

“Just get that cab,” Míngzé urged the other with a push against his back. While walking on his own was a definite ‘no’, he now tried his best to lean less on the other for support. Which was more of a challenge than he wanted to admit.

“I hate you,” Míngzé said but his words missed the sharp edge it had before. If he’d said this a few hours ago, he would’ve truly meant it. Now he wasn’t so sure anymore. For now, he could no longer say he hated the other person, but he was also not sure if he liked him.

Just when he thought it couldn’t get any worse, Sāng managed to do just that. He made it much worse. Míngzé could feel his face heating up. “That— you— I don’t— no, NO,” he stammered as he tried to find the right words, or a good comeback, but there was nothing. Instead he tried his best to hit the other against the head but there was no strength at all behind the slap.

It was a good thing a cab arrived almost immediately. Gēgē. It was best to ignore what Sāng said, it worked before. With one hand near the roof and with the other’s help, he managed to safely get in the car. It felt good to be able to sit again and not have to worry anymore about falling. While he wanted for Sāng to hop in too, he told the driver his address. He sat close to the door so that he could lean against it, but it was so much colder than before. In an attempt to keep himself warm, he crossed his arms.

All Míngzé did was hum as confirmation. That’s right. He hated Sāng. And maybe if he said it a few more times he might actually start believing it.

There was something different about all Sāng’s previous attempts and this one. They were all just words without much meaning behind them, but this felt more personal. It was exactly what he did to make up for his lack of vision. “Not. Happening.” No matter how much time he still had. Míngzé could already envision how it would feel to— “No,” he said again as he pushed the thoughts away.

When he got in the cab, it felt more like he was trying to escape from this, but it was futile. Sāng would join him as he had promised to take him home. Why did he ever agree to that? It was never his intention of bringing him home. Míngzé did not understand how they went from hanging out for one hour, to this.

“It was only one cocktail and two shots, I won’t get sick” Míngzé repeated what the other had said earlier but they sounded like famous last words. Luckily he did not feel sick. Yet. It was just cold and he suddenly noticed how tired he was. Normally he would be at home right now, with the tv on and a warm blanket. He hugged himself tighter. “I’m just tired.” No, he was not tired, he was exhausted. If he closed his eyes now, he might even be able to fall asleep.

Míngzé sat up straighter when Sāng started giving him a whole lecture. Everything he said sounded like a lot of work. He opened his eyes and looked to the side, but it was still the same as inside that bar. “Water, four glasses, don’t go to bed,” he summed up and even held up four fingers. It was not too difficult, yet he was not sure if it was even possible. His plan was to crash in his bed as soon as he got home.  

“I already have regrets.” What harm could a few more do? He rubbed his eyes again, trying to get rid of the pressure that was on them. “Yeah no, I can’t stay awake. ” The glasses of water were no problem, but if he was already this tired, it would only get worse once he was home. Maybe he should take a nap while they were still in the cab. Miingze let his head fall back and leaned more into his seat.

Whatever he did was fine, he only had to remember that Sāng had warned him. Míngzé raised his arm and felt around for the other until he found him and patted him again. “You tried to help, I will remember,” he said like it was some kind of promise. Again he could feel a chill, so he quickly pulled his hand back and hugged himself again.

Míngzé did not know when it happened, but one moment he was talking with Sāng and the next something was touching his cheek. With a soft groan he woke up, grabbing whatever touched him. It felt like waking up from hibernation too early. He could hear Sāng’s voice, which only momentarily confused him. “Hm?” Everything was still rather foggy in his head, but it was slowly getting better.

”We’ve arrived at your destination.”

He did not recognize that voice. No, wait, it was the taxi driver. They’d arrived home. “Finally,” he muttered as he already had his legs out of the car without realizing he still had Sāng’s hand in his. Everything had been fine before, but now he felt slightly sick. “Let’s go inside.”

The cold wind helped him wake up from his nap. Míngzé was also happy to notice that his legs had regained a bit more stability and that maybe his balance had restored a bit. It made him sigh deeply. Walking in a straight line was still impossible, but at least he could walk without immediately seeing the floor without a Sāng as support. Still, he accepted the help without question. What a good impression he’d make if people saw him like this, leaning on some man as if his life depended on it.

If only that sick feeling would go away.

They went to the front door and then inside using Sāng’s keys. Good, made it easier for him. “Third floor, number uhm—” What was it again? Míngzé stared ahead in a desperate attempt to recall the number. Usually he relied on Qiān or counted the doors from the elevator towards his apartment. “I’ll know once we get there.” Surely it will all come back then.

Míngzé pointed in some direction. “The elevator is somewhere over there,” he said already going towards it, but he did not realize he was way off. Luckily they did not have to climb stairs. He might as well sleep in the hallway if that was the case.

Míngzé looked a little bit puzzled when they were slightly moving in the other direction, but he did not question it any further. It always took some time to get used to new places anyway. “Yes, love, that’s what I said.”

Luckily for them, there was no one around at this hour and the elevator arrived almost immediately. “Always.” Wherever he left alone, Qiān would wait for him, keeping himself busy with whatever pokémon did. What did pokémon do exactly when they were alone? Míngzé narrowed his eyes at the thought, but shaked his head soon after. Not important. “He’s probably wondering where I am.” Or not. The pokémon had been quite unruly lately.

It did not take long to reach the third floor. “Left and then the third door should be mine.” See, he still knew where he lived. Ah, yes, he would need his keys now. He grabbed them out of his pocket and while they were walking he was looking for the right key, which proved again harder than expected.

Normally he could recognize his apartment key fairly easily, but now he was having some problems. They were harder to identify, but not impossible. Not that it mattered. Míngzé’s hand followed his keys for a moment until he realized Sāng took them from him. “Those are mine,” he complained with knitted brows. It didn’t take long before Sāng had opened his door for him. That was easy.

Again Sāng repeated what he’d told him in the car which made Míngzé smile. “Yeah, yeah,” he said while he patted him on the shoulder once again. Qian was already waiting, but the pokémon looked very unimpressed. “Thanks for— this,” as Míngzé was looking for the right words he waved around a bit, before disappearing inside his apartment.

Míngzé asked Qiān for a glass of water, while he made his way to the bedroom. All he wanted was to sleep and so he did. He crawled underneath his blanket, without ever getting that glass of water.

Too bad for him, Sāng had been right.