Keep on surviving

For almost an hour he’d tried to do it himself, but finally he gave up. His right hand was shaking and sweat covered his forehead. This was not working. Míngzé leaned forward by resting on his right arm while he kept his other slightly in the air. The burning pain radiating through his arm was sickening and his badly wrapped bandage pressed down on already badly damaged skin.

When he woke up that morning, it had felt like he hadn’t slept for days and now it was even worse. Míngzé softly cursed as he was trying his best to bite down the pain. He desperately wanted to believe that it was not too bad, that the burns were not severe. However, when Míngzé was applying the salve he had, he could feel that it was worse than just some red skin.

Something gently brushed against his foot, followed by quiet whines. Right. That was also still here. “I don’t suppose you can help?” he muttered to the creature who responded by placing his front paws against his leg. “Thought so.” What a mess.

Fifteen minutes later Míngzé walked down the hallway on his socks and in clean pajamas. The creature hobbled behind him and stood still when Míngzé had found the right door. He could not bother Lányù with this, she would worry too much. Everyone else would definitely immediately call her if he asked them for help. Sāng had his own problems to deal with. Which left him with one option.

Míngzé knocked on the door and waited. The creature sat down on his foot and he could hear it jawn. “Yeah, me too,” he muttered. Whatever that thing was, it was still very small. Everything they needed was in a small box in his hands and the badly applied bandage still pressed down on the wounds that covered his arm and a small part of his hand.

Hopefully Mindo could handle the sight.

After his first few knocks he waited for a bit. When he could hear nothing happening at the other side, he tried again, and again. Every knock became a bit more desperate. What was he even doing here? Bothering someone he’d met at an amusement park. They were still pretty much strangers and here he was. Knocking on her door with an arm covered in burns. Míngzé made up his mind and wanted to turn around and leave when the door opened.

She was not exactly thrilled to see him, at least not at first and it did not become much better. “Hi,” he said a bit awkwardly, forcing one corner of his mouth into something that resembled a smile.

Míngzé had expected her to ask questions, who wouldn’t. Initially he wanted to come up with some stupid story how he was cooking but fucked up somehow. Firstly, it would be anything but believable given how far the burns reached and how severe they were. Secondly, he was simply too tired to lie.  “I was stuck in a burning building until it collapsed on me, so no, not really no,” Míngzé answered tonelessly. Even now he wanted to simply pretend it never happened, but he was way past that point. Her figure moved to the side, which he took as an invitation to enter her apartment. The creature on his foot fell to the side when he moved, but happily followed him inside.

Once inside Míngze felt a bit lost. New environments were always tricky and right now he was not in the mood to find his way around the apartment. “I tried to do it myself, but I think I only made it worse.” At his feet the small creature was biting his toes and Míngzé moved his foot a bit, trying to get it away but it did not work. “Can you— Do you want to help?” That he had no idea who else to contact, he kept to himself.

Telling her how it had happened was maybe not the best move, but at the same time how believable did it sound? Even he had trouble believing that was what happened and he was the one with flashes of memories in his head. Every time it felt like his head became a bigger mess. The first time it had been easy to push it all aside and tell himself that it was all in his head. There had to be a logical explanation. That time he woke up being totally fine. Physically at least, but how could he tell himself it was all in his head this time?

Míngzé really was too tired to argue with her. It was a relief when she offered to sit down because his head was dangerously spinning. “I’m not sure,” Míngzé responded to her unfinished question as he accepted the help towards a chair. The thing at his feet followed him closely, a bit too close as it almost made him trip. Mindo’s own pokémon growled and for a moment he knitted his brows. Could it be that— no, the pokémon was probably growling at him for disturbing them this early in the morning. There was definitely something at his feet, but he was not entirely sure it was real.

Sitting down felt nice and he drew a relieved breath. “Is it that bad?” Míngzé asked as worry clouded his face. He looked to the side at his arm, but it did not tell him anything. There was maybe a slight discoloration as far as he could see, but the wounds and blisters were not visible. He’d felt them before, but had hoped it was less worse. “I thought it would be fine.” Besides, what would he tell them? Surely they wanted to know how this happened.

As she told him to stay, he nodded once and started removing his ill applied bandages. It was anything but a pleasant experience, especially since it stuck to him in some places. But he managed to remove it entirely before Mindo returned.

Mindo gave him painkillers and a bottle. Normally he would deny the alcohol, but this time he took her word for it. Without trying to think about it he accepted the pills and immediately swallowed them down with whatever she gave him. The taste was horrible and the cough that followed burned his throat. Sadly enough, that was the least of his problems.

“Have your dreams ever physically hurt you?” Míngzé tried to leek her in the eye, knowing full well how deranged this made him sound.

Míngzé knew how it must sound. It was a wonder Mindo remained at least a little bit calm in this situation. When she put it like that, it made only more sense for him to go to a hospital. But he could not shake the feeling off that it had all been a weird nightmare. Maybe the creature at his feet was indeed the one who’d burned him. Wouldn’t he be hurt more if it really happened. Yet, when he closed his eyes and let his thoughts loose, he could remember it. Even when those memories were a mess.

“It will be fine, I trust you.” He tried to give her a smile, but it did not reach his eyes. No matter what, she will do a better job than he had done and in that he trusted her. Which was all that mattered at this point. When she warned him about the pain, he nodded. Míngzé was not really used to pain. He has had his fair amount of papercuts and has his knees or elbows multiple times, but none of it could really compare to this. He bit down on his finger as Mindo started working. The pain was clearly visible on his face and his breathing was a bit heavier.

Did he hit his head… it was what he hid behind the last time something like this happened. Everything was just something his mind had made up after hitting his head and then spending a night on a cold beach. That made more sense than alternatives. Yet, now Míngzé did not know anymore. He thought he did but at the same time it still felt like a dream. But dreams could not hurt you unless you were in a movie.

“I wish,” he sighed deeply, waving his other arm at Mindo to make her stop looking for something that was not there. He looked at Mindo for a moment and drew a deep breath. After this she would certainly think he was crazy, but what had he to lose?  “I went to sleep, certain things happened in my dream— or more like a nightmare and I woke up with this.” He raised his arm for a second, indicating the burns but he winced at the movement.. “That’s why I asked, because if it was anything but a dream, I don’t think I would be sitting here right now. Which makes no sense.” No, he would’ve been dead for sure. No one could experience those things and live on to tell the tale.

Mindo might be right and maybe it was stupid to trust her, but for now she was his only option. So far, whatever she was doing, was not too bad. It hurt like a bitch, but she was doing her best to be gentle, something he could appreciate.

The silence that followed took over the whole apartment. If he paid close attention, he could almost hear his own heart beating in his chest. Míngzé did not look at her, instead kept his eyes on his arm. Focussing on the burning pain was better than trying to figure out what went through Mindo’s head. A mistake. Once again he had said something he should’ve kept to himself. Right now she might have come to the conclusion that he was an absolute lunatic.

Finally she broke the silence again and relief washed over him. She shot all her questions at him in one go. Perhaps the silence had been a better option. The first question told him enough. She did not believe a word he said. A sigh rolled over his lips and he closed his exhausted eyes. Yet at the same time he was happy she mentioned the creature. At least he was not imagining things. “Qiān has been in his ball for a while now,” Míngzé said to answer the easiest question and the only one he could really answer, although he could not shake off the guilt that came with it.

“As for your other questions,” Míngzé started as he moved in his seat and sat straighter with his back against the chair. He raised one shoulder and laughed an empty laugh. What could he say? That he first drowned before waking up in a place on fire. A tightness spread through his chest and he quickly pushed those thoughts aside. “No idea, like I said, I was in bed and woke up in some building I did not recognize. As for the creature—” The pup was curled up into a ball and fast asleep at his feet. “Until now I was not even sure it was real.” Míngzé knew it was better to stay quiet, but it was an effect of the few sips he had. His alcohol tolerance was very low, not to mention everything else going on.

Sometimes he was glad he could not see the looks on people’s faces. Right now he could imagine how Mindo was looking at him. She did not believe him and he did not expect her to. It was fine. He just needed to hear himself say it and even then it was hard to believe it himself. Yet, something had changed. No longer could he pretend it was the imagination of his own mind, like Mindo was able to do.

How long has Qiān been in his ball already? A month? More? Míngzé had lost track of time. It had been a very long time, especially for a pokémon that never spent a minute of his life in a pokébal. “I needed space and he did not allow me any.” Which only started to make more sense. The pokémon had not been able to keep him safe, lost him even, and did not want to let that happen again. “It’s better like this, for now at least.” Although, at this point he was scared of how the pokémon would react and with each day that went by, that feeling got fueled.

A houndour. Míngzé moved his toes and could feel the pokémon at his feet twist in response. He hummed softly. “Who knows.” Pokémon did not magically appear out of nowhere. At least, not these kinds of pokémon. “He was there when I woke up and I never owned one before, make of that what you want.” In other words, yes. The houndour yawned again in response, clearly not ready to wake up yet.

“Perhaps,” he muttered. Kidnapping. Míngzé let the thought float around in his head. But it made no sense. As if it wanted to remind him, he could feel the tightness in his chest again. Míngzé closed his eyes and placed his hand against his chest. “Trust me, the first time something like this happened, I also thought I was losing it,” he said as the corner of his mouth twitched in an attempt to smile at it. And maybe he had finally snapped.

Fuck. Míngzé bit his tongue for a moment. He should stay quiet, but what was the point? The more he said, the less believable it all sounded. “A short while ago, I accidentally went for a swim. Which I can’t— I can’t swim,” he said with an empty laugh. “Although my clothes were dry. Which is stranger.” But it happened. He knew that now. “Just eh— stay away from the beach.” If this happened to him, it could happen to others too and he did not want that.

The dog. He was a whole other fucking problem. Míngzé had enough troubles with Qiān as it was and now he had this mysterious thing that did not leave him alone. He sighed deeply. “Would you keep it?” Míngzé asked as he turned his head towards her. “A pokémon that was just there after what might be the worst nightmare of your life?” It was a houndour, which was a fire type and his arm looked like something had set it on fire. For all he knew this pup had something to do with it.

Those were probably problems for later, what came first was his arm. The cold temperature of the towels had certainly helped cool it down. It did not burn as badly as before, but not for long. “Just do it,” he muttered. It all got worse again from there. Míngzé gritted his jaw and was opening and closing his other hand as a distraction. At her question he firstly only shook his head as he prepared himself first to keep his breathing steady. “Absolutely— just terrific— do you have more of that eh— stuff?” Sweat had formed on his head, caused by the pain his body had to go through. Another drink might help numb the pain some more.  

Without any kind of warning the creature was laced on his lap. His initial reaction was to lean back, creating more space. All the pup did however, was jawn, turn around a few times and curl back into a ball. A sigh escaped and he placed a hand on the warm body. “You can’t be too careful in this world,” he muttered. But if it was just a pokémon and nothing more it could stay. For now.

It was all very uncomfortable for many reasons and while she was helping he thought about tapping out every now and then. All that would do was delay the inevitable. Míngzé had been telling the truth and nothing else, but it was evident that she thought otherwise. He let her guide his hand to the bottle and took a deep breath before he drank from it. The taste was still horrible. With a grimace he placed the bottle down again. “Only if death is a person.” His yellow eyes rested on the bottle. Was it truly death that was haunting him? Did those voices he heard belong to them?

His fingers traced the bottle as he simply sat there. “Look you— this all sounds completely fucking insane and I’m sorry,” he started hesitantly. The alcohol in his system luckily numbed the pain somewhat with the help of the painkiller. “It was not my intention to drag you into all this shit.” In a way he felt guilty for it. They had seen each other once and now here he sat, asking so much of her. This had really been his last resort, as he did not know where else to go. “But— still— thank you, for all of this,” he ended with a sigh as he rubbed his tired eyes.  

Right now he was not in any state to start some discussion as to why he did not fully trust this strange pokémon. He was so very tired and it did not matter anyway. It was not like she believed him anyway. WHich was probably for the better. “Please do, I don’t want to have to wash blood out of the carpet,” he forced a smile on his lips. It was just a pokémon. Maybe if he kept telling himself that, he might start believing it too.

Míngzé hummed softly. He couldn’t help but feel guilty for bothering her with this. This had nothing to do with her and yet here she was. Later, when things had calmed down he should do something for her to thank her. It was only right. She mentioned she knew some people and for now, he did not think much about it.

“I don’t drink,” Míngzé said matter of fact, knowing fully well how that sounded right now. This however had been different. It was not drinking to get drunk or whatever reason people had for drinking. But to be fair, did it even matter anymore. Reluctantly he lifted the bottle once more, he could vaguely see the reflection of the light. “Although I guess this is different.” Without giving himself more room to question his choice he drank, the taste had not changed since the first time. “That’s so awful,” he muttered with clear disgust before handing Mindo the bottle.

What she’d told him just now popped back up into his mind and made him frown deeply. “How do you know people that could help?” From what Míngzé knew about her, she was just some normal girl he had met during a festival and happened to be his neighbor.  

While his arm still hurt, it was a little bit better now. It was overshadowed by his growing fatigue anyway. No matter the fact that he just came out of bed, Míngzé felt like he hadn’t slept at all. And maybe he hadn’t. There was no telling what had exactly happened and it was maddening.

Míngzé felt the pup on his lap move as it looked up at the other houndour, but it quickly nestled itself closer against him. He looked down at it, still unsure what to do with the creature. Its whole existence was a mystery to him, one he did not like.

There was a small smile on his lips. “I’d like to use the argument that this is a special occasion.” It definitely was and the fact that the alcohol numbed the pain was a welcome detail. However, Míngzé made a face when she told him she liked it. “Can’t say I agree.” Perhaps he would get used to it at some point, but right now he had no plans of making this a normal occurrence.

Softly he hummed as Mindo answered his question, even though he was only half listening to a word she said. “No reason really,” Míngzé answered with a shrug from one shoulder. “Only trying to distract the mind.” He tapped his own head a few times. With how low his alcohol tolerance was, and the fact that it was early in the morning and he was tired while drinking on an empty stomach, he quickly felt the effect. “The fries-loving girl. That’s all I really know about you,” Míngzé said almost lost in thought, his words already a bit slurring.