Turn of the screws

Letting his pokémon out of his pokéball after more than a month was something he knew he should not be doing inside his apartment. Normally he went to the beach if Qiān needed some time to get all the energy out, but Míngzé did not even want to get near that place. That is how he ended up in the park on a small field of grass near the lake.

Míngzé stared at the pokébal as he had been doing for the past few minutes. Delaying this any longer would only result in another month of the pokémon being locked up. With every day that went by, it became harder  and more difficult. Míngzé trusted Qiān, and yet he was afraid of how the pokémon would react.

Without giving himself the chance to back down again, he threw the ball and was greeted by the unfamiliar red glow. He was well aware people were against the usage of pokéballs and he couldn’t agree more, but this was different.

The moment Qiān became aware of his surroundings, he looked around almost hysterically. “Qiān.” In an instant the pokémon was at his side and he could feel his hand against his chest. Qiān stood with his back towards him, facing someone else Míngzé had not noticed before. The Inteleon pointed one hand at the person like a finger gun, only this one could really fire something. With his other hand he made sure Míngzé could not get any closer.

“Hey, it’s fine, everything is alright Qiān,” he tried to hush the pokémon, still oblivious as to what was happening. Mingze placed a hand against the pokémon's arm, but it did nothing.

In the light provided by the sun, Míngzé could see the green head of hair. As the other mentioned his name he frowned. It had been a while ago and a lot has happened since, but he vaguely remembered that person. It was a good thing that he only knew one person with green hair. “Vince,” he greeted the man. Qiān took a big step back, his hand now against Míngzé’s chest, forcing him to take a few stumbling steps back. “Qiān!” he said angrily, but the pokémon was ignoring him completely. He wanted Míngzé to leave this place, but the man wouldn’t budge.

Míngzé did not understand Qiān, although in a way he knew why the pokémon behaved like this. Everyone would see the pokémon was on edge, with his muscles tense and a bewildered gaze in his eyes as he looked from Vince to the pokémon with him. He was simply afraid. Afraid that he would fail to protect Míngzé again, that he would lose him. In a way the pokémon blamed himself for what had happened and now he did not want to leave his side.

“Yeah, Qiān came back soon after you left. He had been helping some kid rescue their pokémon from a tree,” Míngzé sighed. Back then the pokémon had been helping a random stranger, now he was holding someone else who clearly posed no threat under fire.

Now he also noticed how Qiān was behaving strangely. “If I were you I would be careful, he hasn’t been himself lately.” Which was partly because of his confinement to the pokeball. Míngzé’s grip on the ball got tighter, ready to use it on the pokémon if needed. For now the pokémon looked at Vince with narrowed eyes and was ready to shoot if he came too close.

If things got out of hand, he could still return Qiān to his ball. It was not his best option, but it would work. The only problem left was the fact that he would only make the problem worse. Vaguely he saw how Vince moved and Qiān got instantly tense. The snack that the other held towards him, completely ignored for now.

The question that was being asked made a corner of his mouth twitch. “We got separated a while ago when we were at the beach. It was only for a few hours, but he has been acting strangely ever since,” Míngzé repeated the sentence he had rehearsed over a million times. It was longer than just ‘a while’. A whole night had passed before he finally woke up again like nothing happened. Qiān had been worried sick and his behavior after became too much. Locking him up had not been the best idea, it was only avoiding a problem that got worse over time.

The moment Vince directed his attention fully towards Qiān and started talking to him, he could feel the pressure on his chest getting worse. The pokémon really wanted him to back away but Míngzé stood his ground.

Qiān narrowed his eyes slightly, firmly standing between this new person and Míngzé. His gaze never left the other and he noticed every small movement. Yet, something made him slowly lower his arm, no longer holding Vince under shot. He gave a nod accompanied by a noise that confirmed Vince’s assumption.

“I tried bringing him to a therapist, but that did not end very well,” Míngzé added as he looked between the two, not really knowing what was going on.

It was strange, but whatever Vince was doing seemed to somewhat work. It went better as the previous time he’d let Qiān out of his ball during the therapy. Míngzé took a deep breath. While he did not want the help of others with this, it was hard to deny that help when it was working. He hummed softly. “For a few hours, yeah,” he added without revealing how long.

Right before all of that happened, Qiqn had been unruly, doing whatever the hell he wanted and not paying too much attention towards the one he should’ve been helping. Then because of his careless behavior someone had happened. “He is, yes, or was, I don’t know.” What if his pokémon was too damaged to do his job?

Míngzé’s grip around the pokéball got tighter. Everything that happened that day was kind of a blur to him. “I— We went home and I Guess I did not really reassure him?” It was a question that was also directed at himself, because he had no idea. If he had said anything to him, he could no longer remember. “Once we were back home I—” Instead of finishing the sentence, he tilted the pokeball a little, indicating that he locked him up as soon as they got home.

Qiān who still stood in front of him looked away from Vince for the first time, locking eyes with Míngzé. Slowly he was lowering his guard a bit, but he still quickly turned his head again towards the other, taking a step closer to Míngzé. He simply wanted to protect him and make sure nothing would ever happen to him again. Because he felt something had happened to Míngzé, but he had no idea what happened during the hours they’d been apart.

The moment he could feel something poke him, he immediately took a step back, looking down momentarily. But Vince carried on, the words he used cutting deep. “You don’t understand,” he said through gritted teeth, his voice strained. His golden eyes were almost looking straight at Vince as he shortly shook his head. “It’s not as simple as you make it out to be.” Nothing about this was normal or easy. It was more than them simply losing each other on the beach. But Vince could not know, all he did was try to help, but at that moment it did not feel like it was helping.

Míngzé’s eyes widened at the words being used by Vince, his breath catching in his throat at the same time. Almost. No, it was more than thay, wasn’t it. As his breathing got a bit deeper, he could almost feel the burning sensation in his lungs even when it was not even there. “This isn’t working,” Míngzé said abruptly. At the same time he turned on his heels, turning his back to both Vince and Qiān. No, there was nothing wrong with Qiān, it was all him.

He wanted to simply walk away and leave them behind, but Qiān was faster and caught his arm. His burned arm was still in the process of healing and this caused a wave of burning pain through his arm. “Let go,” he now growled as he wanted to jank his arm free, but it was no use as his pokémon was a lot stronger.

This time when the other poked him, he pushed his hand aside. While he did not mind physical contact, he did not appreciate being poked like he was a pincushion. Everything Vince told him was true, he realized that much, but it was all so very complicated. If anything he almost regretted letting the pokémon out of his ball.

And while he was done with all of this, Qiān held him back but the moment he noticed that he was hurting Míngzé, he let go. Worry was written all over the pokémon’s face. All he had to do was listen, at least that is what Vince told him. But what was there to listen to? He could not listen to a pokémon that was always in his face, not giving him the chance to make his own choices.

When something touched his leg, he yerked away immediately, looking down but whatever was there was too small for him to really see. Qiān however shot into action, stepping in between Míngzé and the pokémon. It only left Míngzé confused as he backed away some more and crossed his arms.

Míngzé narrowed his eyes as Vince kept talking. “That’s the thing, isn’t it? He can’t help, not with this.” There was no helping him with this problem, he’d looked for solutions but so far he came back empty handed. One pokémon would not make a difference. “He might think he understands me, this, but he doesn’t. Besides, he does not help, all he does is make sure I can’t breathe because he won’t give me the space to do so,” Míngzé slightly raised his voice as he looked from Qiān to Vince and back again.

You’re the problem here. Míngzé glared at Vince who seemed to believe it was his right to judge him at every corner. Putting all the blame on him while he knew nothing about this impossible situation. Nothing. Absolutely nothing and yet here he was teaching him a lesson. “You talk a lot of pretty words about communication and talking to my pokémon, but you never once stopped to think about the why.” If the situation had been less complicated he probably already would've talked to Qiān, they had been together so long. But right now that was too much. He could not bring Qiān into this when he was still trying to figure out whatever this was exactly.

This was getting too much. While Míngzé had anticipated some problems, he did not expect this. As his heartbeat was getting faster he could feel how breathing also became heavier. A pain he knew was not there, still erupted from his chest, almost as if his lungs were on fire. “Fuck— just— just give me a minute,” Míngzé told Vince with one shaky finger in the air as he turned his back towards him. He had his eyes closed as he tried to gather his bearings with no luck. Air was still entering and he tried to focus on that, but it did nothing to help him calm down.

Qiān expression was one of utter worry as he looked from Vince to Míngzé and back. He had taken a step forward, but was hesitant to come too close. While he wanted to help, he did not know how and he was looking at Vince for support. He reached out for Mingze , but did not touch him as he had no idea what was going on.

What Vince said next was the truth. He did not want to talk about the why, not before he had this figured out completely. While Míngzé knew what had happened, it was a whole other thing to accept it and make peace with it. Which was the real problem. Because how can he make peace with something that only caused problems?

The tight feeling in his chest did not want to disappear and only got worse. Which was absolutely stupid as he was standing here on the land, walking around and just breathing. There was no reason he should feel like this. It was all because of this stupid conversation. “It’s fine, it’s nothing,” he said while waving his hand. While he did not fully hear what Vince was saying, he could put two and two together. Now they only have to believe him, because he did not believe it himself.

With the idea that maybe walking would help, he started pacing back and forth. Qiān had done like Vince told him and held out an arm, but pulled back at seeing this. One thing was for certain, walking did not make it any easier. “Is there a bench or something nearby? Somewhere to sit?” He did not know who he was asking this to, Vince or Qiān but he did not care. The pokémon did not know either and looked at Vince once more for help, pointing at a bench a bit farther away.

All he wanted was to sit down. Who was helping him did not matter. He wanted to sit, calm down and catch his breath again. Míngzé nodded a few times when the question came if he wanted to sit. He place a shaking hand against the bench before he sat down.

Once he sat down he released a shaking breath. He leaned forward, placing his arms on his legs and sat like that for a while. His eyes were closed and he tried to simply focus on his breathing. It was fine, everything was fine because it had to be. “Fuck,” he muttered quietly, leaning a bit more forward. Qiān stood there, more lost than ever as he had no idea what was going on. This was nothing he had ever seen before. And he was not alone, Míngzé had also no idea what had happened.

Míngzé folded his hands and dug his fingertips into his skin. “Why did you not just listen when I said it was not that simple,” his voice had an edge as he spoke. The pokébal had ended somewhere next to him on the bench. “This is not something you can fix by just talking.” Even Míngzé was not sure if he was still talking solely about his problems with Qiān.

One thing was clear, Vince had no idea that what he was doing was anything but helping him. Míngzé had hoped the other would understand that there were reasons he did not want to talk, but no. If anything the other continued, telling him he had to talk. Míngzé buried his hands in his hair as he tried to simply ignore everything that was being said. Which proved to be impossible. “Can’t you shut the fuck up for once?” Míngzé only noticed he was yelling after the words had left his mouth. Every breath he took was ragged and he hated how it built up pressure in his chest. His eyes were burning, but he bit back any tear that might want to break through.

Even Qiān noticed that this was getting out of hand. His trainer was clearly in distress and it was only getting worse whenever this other person talked. The large pokémon stepped in between the two, his gaze calmly on Vince. While he did not look threatening, it was clear that he wanted this to stop. No matter how Míngzé pushed him away, he was still loyal to the core and one of his tasks was to protect him.

At this point he felt truly horrible and completely drained. His mind was a complete mess and he felt trapped. All he knew was that he had to go. Staying here clearly only made things worse. “Just leave, alright? Before you make things worse than they already are.” All he really wanted right now was to be left alone.