Carefull what you wish for

Djodie felt like her breath had stopped as she noticed the look on the woman's face. God she must think you're pathetic. Djodie looked down, trying to silence the voice inside her head.
There was a long pause after her words, where neither of them said a thing. The voice inside her head was screaming, and the girl tried everything in her power to stop it. Why hadn't she seen this coming? What was she thinking to call Kaye? Why didn't she call the cops, like every other straight-thinking person?

She's gonna leave. You gotta do something! She's gonna leave and you'll be alone! Panic seemed to slowly lower over the girl as Kaye's words settled into her.
"No, you did. I had just. The wrong idea at the time." Because you're naïve and stupid. Djodie didn't even know what else she was supposed to say now.

A shiver went through her body as Kaye grabbed her hand. Djodie forced herself to look upto the woman. If you just tell her to leave... at least you still have control over this mess of a situation.
God she didn't want her to leave... But telling Kaye to leave was better than Djodie being abandoned. Kaye's words however, where not what Djodie expected.
Regret? Advantage? The redhead wasn't even sure anymore.
"No, no ofcourse not." She answered, putting on her best fake smile. It was her first time - with anyone, and that turned out to be meaningless. It was an understatement that she wasn't exactly happy about the situation.

The woman apologised once more and Djodie felt like she wanted to scream at her. To scream and yell and hit her and whatever not.
Little, stupid, naïve girl. Djodie slowly took a sip from the tea, that was still hot, on the verge of burning her mouth.
Kaye was still holding her hand, and Djodie had heared the painfull tone in her voice, yet was unable to respond.

"Do you still want me to stay?" It was like a bomb of voices exploded in her mind, yelling all through each other, not one of them voing clear enough for Djodie to actually hear. Kaye's words were barely above a whisper. This was so different than to woman she had met in that bar.
God she should have ignored that drink.
But as Djodie looked up at Kaye, the expression on the woman's face broke something inside her. If she indeed meant nothing to Kaye - then why was the woman still here?
Sure, you tell yourself whatever you want to believe.
Djodie let out a soft sigh, placed her other hand on top of Kaye's. "I do. But only if you really want that."

"I'm glad." For a moment Djodie sat there with disbelieve in her eyes. Was she... going to stay? She didn't leave her? Tension formed in her throat as she felt tears build up behind her eyes. Relief washed through her.

She was even more blown away when Kaye answered that she did want to stay, but needed some space at this moment. Healthy communication?
"If I still want you? Kaye, it's 3 in the morning and I didn't kick you out." Djodie said with a faint playfull undertone, trying to lower the tension in the room. Kaye pulled her hand back from Djodie's and the girl watched the woman nervously trying to button up her top. Just as she had stood, shaking with her apartment key.
"Come here." Carefully Djodie scootched a bit closer, quickly buttoned the woman's shirt and took her distance after. The girl finished her tea while her mind was racing.
"You can take a smoke if you want, I have a small balcony." Djodie pointed at the balcony door. That way they'd both have a moment to get over their own emotions. Djodie stood up, walked to the kitchen to pour herself another cup of tea.
As she waited for the water to boil, the tears she had been holding finally broke and rolled over her cheeks.
Gods. Relief flowed through her head as she was trying to realise what happened. She had really expected the woman to leave. She had half expected herself to hit Kaye. Good thing she didn't.

Djodie smiled as she pulled up an eyebrow. "Now now, just be glad I'm buttoning up, not down." She answered teasingly, yet there was a faint tension in here voice - this was not her most comfortable topic. Not sober anyway.

As she stood up and walked towards the kitchen, she was surprised to hear Kaye's voice from behind her.
'Are you alright?' Quickly the redhead dried her tears and turned around.
"Yeah, no - don't worry. It's relief, that's all." There was a small hint of dissapointment as she realised she had misunderstood Kaye. But she could understand, this was probably a big step for her already. Djodie had to stay low a little, as she didn't want to scare Kaye off.

"I'm sorry - I misunderstood. That's fine ofcourse. Just let me know when you're up for something, okay?" Djodie smiled, dissapointment fading, turning into something that looked a lot like happyness.
"Can - Can I kiss you?"

Djodie noticed the worry in Kaye as the woman studied her eyes, that where probably still red and watery. Though her explaination seemed to calm the woman down a bit. It was a lot for both of them.
Djodie tilted her head as she noticed how small the nod was after she asked her to let her know when Kye was ready to see her again.
"Or would you like me to give you a call? I don't want to be pushy.."

As the woman took the cigarette out of her mouth, let her other hand slide through her hair, Djodie felt that small flame burning again. God, this woman...
Kaye answered agreeing words - but didn't take the lead that Djodie had expected. Shyly the redhead stepped forward, closing the distance. Placing a hand right above Kaye's chest - like she had done before... and kissed her gently on the lips.
As she broke the kiss, she stepped back a bit and shot her a shy smile.