the city's gone cold

Míngzé was not about to run straight for Vince to tell him he understood now. He would probably not even actively seek him out, but perhaps if faith brought them together again, he would give him another chance. Which was only thanks to Sāng. “I’ve noticed,” he said, followed by a soft sigh. However, there was a hint of a smile on his lips. It was true. While Vince did not exactly show concern towards him, he’d been very concerned about Qiān’s wellbeing.

“Thank you, I agree and appreciate it, I really do,” Míngzé started honestly. Everyone changes and change is unavoidable and definitely not always bad. He placed a hand on his chest, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt. “But this is different. I think a part of me is literally gone, like it died in order for me to be able to sit here now, with you. It’s strange.” He had never given it much thought out of fear for delving into those memories. But he could feel it, that small piece of emptiness that had not been there before.

There was only so much Míngzé could do if anyone he cared for needed help, but what he said was no lie. If there was something— anything he could do he would. At least he liked to believe he would. The continuation of Sāng’s questions cast a worried look over his face. “I don’t— know,” he said thoughtfully. Those were some difficult and heavy questions. “I guess if there is no other option left, then maybe, yeah, I probably would.” In the end he had no idea how far he would go, he had never stood in front of such a situation.

All he knew about Sāng’s encounter with the grandma was that she had given him a curse, one with which she could control his heart. That in and on itself was terrifying. It was something straight out of a nightmare, but as it turns out, it was so much worse. He did not expect Sāng to open up about this and when he did, Míngzé turned his head to look at him, to show that he was really listening.

He could feel all color drain from his face as the story unfolded. Being a puppet to someone else— at least to this extent— he could not imagine the terror that it brought forth. Turns out she was also able to see Sāng’s thoughts. Now it made more sense why Sāng was asking those questions earlier.

Without even thinking about it, he took a sip from the tequila as Sāng finished his story. Slowly he shook his head as he looked over the city. “This is madness,” he muttered. This was where he should be telling Sāng it would all be alright, that it might not be that bad, but those words were lost to him. Perhaps because he knew they would be false.

“The way I see it, you did what you had to do,” he continued, more to let Sāng know that he’d been listening to his story. A deal with the devil in exchange for the safety of those he cares for. Who wouldn’t do that, knowing what else might happen if they didn’t? It was not fair, as they gave Sāng no other choice. “What a world we live in, and then there are people who praise these affinities,” Míngzé said, clearly repulsed by the mere idea. All he’d lost was a small piece of himself, but Sāng was in much deeper trouble.

“It always comes with a price,” he recalled his words from earlier with a huff. Those words had never been more truthful. “There must be a way to undo all of this,” he thought out loud. With an angry glare he gazed at the city before them. He had once lost someone dear to him due to these affinities, and he was determined not to lose anyone else.

“A deal with the devil,” he once more muttered to himself, trying to phantom what it all entailed. So far it sounded like Sāng was absolutely fucked.

From a conversation they’ve had in the past, Míngzé already knew that Sāng did not share his opinion about affinities. It did not come as a surprise when he confessed that was not what bothered him. Yet, the affinity was a direct result of this all, so he could not shake the hateful feeling towards those things. But the fact that they felt right to the other—all Míngzé did was hum in response.

Another part of the story got revealed and as Sāng got to the end, Míngzé immediately shook his head. “No, that won’t happen.” The alcohol in his system certainly did not help him. He turned around until he was facing Sāng directly. Míngzé reached out to place a hand on the other’s shoulder. “A few months ago, you said you were dangerous, but I insisted that you weren't. You still haven’t proven me otherwise, if anything, I've only confirmed that you are not..” While he talked he was really trying his best to look at Sāng.

“It's the same now, you won’t turn into a monster. It’s not who you are, I know it’s not, no matter what you say to convince me.” He gave the other's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. Although he may be blind, he was not blind to all the good Sāng had done. He was still convinced the other was a good person, no matter what deal he might have made.

Sāng had helped him on more than one occasion, even when he did not have to. For Míngzé, that only confirmed his opinion about the other person was true. People could say many things, but in the end actions spoke louder than words. The other had called himself dangerous, yet had never done anything that would prove that fact. All he had done was prove to be anything but dangerous.

Yet, with that logic, Míngzé’s words were also meaningless at this moment until it was proven by actions. He let go of Sāng again and sat back against the wall. The cold radiating from the bricks helped him keep his mind somewhat clear.

The other started speaking in his common tongue, causing Míngzé’s brow to furrow. While he spoke the language, it was difficult for him. Softly he hummed while he gave it a good thought. Meanwhile, it had seemed like Sāng had wanted to tell him something else, only to decide against it.

“You’re right,” he decided with a nod. Only time reveals a person’s true character. “Remember when we first met? I hated your guts, thought you were an absolute asshole.” The only reason Míngzé had not packed his stuff back then and left, was because he was not able to do so. Then he was forced to join Sāng after class. “Look where we are now.” Míngzé gestured around himself. Who would have imagined them sitting on a rooftop, pouring out their troubles, if you knew how they started. An honest smile broke through. He was glad Sāng had pushed him that one time. Time had indeed shown him Sāng’s true character.

Míngzé rolled his eyes while there was an amused smile on his lips. Back then he wanted nothing more than to stay out of the other’s way, but Sāng made that nearly impossible. “Glad you had fun.” At this point he no longer cared. Now he knew there was more to him than simply an annoying little brat. “That I’d noticed, forcing me to get something to drink with you after class. You know, I’m happy you did that.” Otherwise they wouldn’t be here right now. He was well aware he was not the easiest person, which was probably why his friend group was small, yet Sāng had kept pushing. “And here I thought you were only trying to get under my skin,” he said with a chuckle. Sāng knew very well what made him a bit uncomfortable, and in the past he had used it against him.

Back then however, his biggest worry had been the person sitting besides him. Everything else had been nothing. Yet now, things have changed so much in so many ways.  “It really was.” If only they could go back in time.

Sāng had told him about the things happening in his life, but somehow it only felt like the tip of the iceberg. There was no saying what else he was carrying with him. Míngzé could only truly speak about himself in this case. “That is, if we can,” he sighed. Because how can he put something behind himself, if it is becoming a fundamental part of him?

Sometimes life was too busy and too many things happened. From what he had gathered, Sāng had a challenging past few weeks, maybe even months, and they were far from over.  At this point, he hoped Sāng knew he could always come to him, even if it was only to talk about nonsense. “If you need company, you know where to find me.” The food there had been great and he’d enjoyed himself. Míngzé wouldn’t mind going back.

“You still haven’t shown me the place you work at,” Míngzé said when he suddenly remembered Sāng’s job. The man was also an excellent bartender, if he were to take his word for it. Maybe one day. There was still enough time ahead of them. If only he knew back then.

Míngzé hummed in agreement. It was getting late and although he had nowhere to be tomorrow, he was tired. "No need to thank me, it's what friends are for." After their conversation, he felt like he would finally be able to fall asleep. He got up too and trusted Sāng to get him off the roof safely.

He was looking forward to it. To learn where Sāng actually worked at what it was like over there. Maybe in the near future they could meet up over there, have a few drinks and just discuss something lighthearted. From what he learned that evening, they both needed it.

Before their departure, Sāng spoke up again, about someone who might be able to help. The warm feeling of hope  emerged from his chest. A way out. The chance of letting everything return back to normal. It was the first time in a long while he saw a flicker of hope. “Thanks,” he said with a clear hint of relief. Maybe, just maybe, this was it. The one solution he had been looking for.

Sāng continued, but it did not really matter to Míngzé. It was a way out and that was all that mattered. Quickly he nodded a few times. “I understand.” A smile he tried to suppress tugged at his lips. “Have a goodnight, Sāng.” With this newly acquired information, he was not sure if he would fall asleep soon, but that did not matter anymore.